Being Faithful

A lot of people decide on a "word" each year that they believe He will use for His glory and their good. From faith to kindness, I have seen the Lord work in many of my friends lives in great ways as they have pursued Him with their whole hearts and as the Spirit has continued to transform them into the likeness of Jesus.  

Although I don't chose a word for each year, I do believe that there is constantly something that the Lord is teaching us and growing us in.  For me, that is faithfulness.  I have found myself called to fulfill many roles: a daughter of the living God, a wife, a mother, a friend. And quite honestly, sometimes it is hard to be faithful to all of those roles without letting some of them get "second best".  Last year, as a new mom, it was really easy to give both the Lord and my husband my leftovers as I felt like I had given my best, and all I had to being my son's mother.  As the year went on, I found myself convicted by the fact that I had prioritized my roles incorrectly at times.  Instead of mother, wife, and believer, it should have been believer, wife and then mother.

The Lord never calls us to anything that He won't equip us to fulfill/do, and if He has called me to be all of these things, and to be faithful to all of these roles, He will surely enable me to do them.  The problem seems to arise, when I depend on my own strength to fulfill these roles faithfully rather than on Him.  If I am obedient to seeking Him first, and growing in my love for Him, then I can be certain that He will provide me with the grace, strength, ability, time, and motivation to do the rest. 

I recently read a blog that a man wrote about his grandfather, and the legacy he left behind.  The man was faithful, not because he did BIG things in the eyes of the world, or even the church, but because He was faithful to the roles he had been given for all 80 some years of his life.  He had been faithful to put Christ first, and then to love and serve others.  And as he left this earth and entered into the courts of the King, I am sure he heard "well done, my good and faithful servant".  What beautiful words- ones we all should long to hear from our Master.

As I prepare to go from a mommy to one, to two just 17 months apart, I know that I will be faced with the challenge to be faithful yet again, faithful to all that the Lord has called me to be and do.  But what I am learning is that as I seek Him, He seeks to equip me.  He is the one watching, and it is only his eyes that see it all, and matter.  And He will never call me where He won't provide, lead, and carry. 

One Year Young!

I can't believe the time has already come to celebrate our little man's first year of life! This past year has been nothing short of incredible. We have seen creation first hand and the Lord's grace, faithfulness, and goodness through this little life.  It has been the best year of our lives thus far, and we are so grateful for the gift of this little boy.

We celebrated Brayden this weekend and it was so much fun! I can't wait to get the pictures back and post them!

So what is this little man up to at 12 months, 1 year?!  A lot!

Earlier this month he mastered standing, getting up and down on his own, and he is SO proud of himself for it.  We started cheering for him (clapping and saying yay) to try and encourage him to stay up because he is so cautious and to take steps, and so now he cheers for himself when he stands (which is all the time).  He also took some steps this month which was so exciting, walking I'm sure is just around the corner!  He is just very cautious at the moment about the whole idea, haha.

He talks SO much.  He can say 20+ words, and he surprises us almost daily with new words when we ask him to say something.  It is SO cute to hear him talk.  He has started saying "what's that" and pointing to most everything--SO SO adorable!

He loves to dance to music, so funny to watch, and of course so cute.  He loves being outside doing anything, playing in the water, playing ball, exploring, playing in the sand, going to the park, going for a walk...he could be outside 24/7.  And he loves balls, bubbles, balloons, and blocks (something about the letter "b"?!).  

He loves other kids, especially kids who are a few years older than him, watching them is just so exciting.  

He is still a mama's boy which I absolutely adore.  Hearing him call for me, never gets old. And he has gotten more and more cuddly lately which is the best!

His top molars popped through right before his first birthday, so he officially has 10 teeth, with 2 more on the way (I think).  And is still in both the 90% for weight and height.  He eats great and sleeps well (most of the time :)). 

He is just so much fun right now, we are loving every second.  And we are so excited to see what the Lord does in his life this second year!!  Happy first birthday sweetness, you stole our hearts, and do everyday! 

Mommy Lessons After 12 Months

This upcoming Monday marks one year since we met Brayden face to face, one year that we've officially been parents.  People always tell you that time goes by so fast, that they grow up in a blink, and it really is true.  As much as I love every stage that Brayden has come across so far, there have been countless times I have wished for a pause button. The last year has been, for me, the most sanctifying year of my life, but with that, the most richly blessed.  I have experienced the sustaining grace of God in real and tangible ways every single day, and have been blessed with seeing His love and His faithfulness continually.  

As sit and reflect on the last year, looking through photos of my sweet baby "growing up", and remembering the hard times and the ones filled with pure joy, I am humbled by the goodness of our great God.  He truly gives His children far more than we deserve.  The fact that He allows us to parent, that He would entrust to us these little lives, is a pure gift.  Psalm 127:3 says, "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward."  

In the last 12 months I've learned a lot, about the Lord, about myself, about my marriage, about being a wife and a mother...here are just a few

Wholly Dependent
We are, whether we realize it or not, wholly dependent upon the Lord for ALL things. Psalm 37:5 says, "Depend on the Lord; trust him, and he will take care of you." Sleep deprivation, the unknowns of parenting, working through solutions with your husband, and trusting Him through a new pregnancy again...these 12 months have given me a new realization, daily, of my total dependence on Him for ALL things.

Be ALL There
I am a planner, a think-aheader (yes, I know that isn't a word).  And because of this, I tend to fail to "stop and smell the roses".  Having a child has taught me to slow down, way down, to realize that it is okay if the laundry doesn't get done that very moment, if I don't get ready when I want to get ready, or if eating lunch takes an extra ten minutes because someone wants to learn to feed themselves.  Ephesians 5 reminds us to "make the best use of our time"...sometimes this is to just enjoy your children, and the moment. 

You Learn Something New Everyday
Children aren't robots (my husband graciously reminds me of this often), and because of that, schedules aren't always going to work, days aren't going to be the same, and sometimes you might not be able to figure out just what is causing that upset little pout.  The Lord desires teachable hearts, and this is an area I am growing in.  Pride easily steps in to make me believe that I know it all, or I can fix every solution, but the reality is, I am learning, and going to be learning until the day I go home and am made like Christ.  I will never master the ability to be the "perfect" Christian, wife, mother, daughter, and friend...and that shouldn't even be my goal.  Instead I should be striving to learn more of Him each day through every moment, and seek to be used to glorify Him, which often means, being at a loss for what to do in a moment and having to get on my knees and pray, and trust that He is in control.

God, Husband, Children
This is a tough one.  Finding time to have with the Lord, especially in those first few months, is tough.  But the truth is, if I don't keep my priorities aligned, everything else gets messed up.  I can't be a good mother, if I am not a good wife, and most importantly a faithful lover of Jesus.  I am learning how to balance it all, and His grace has carried me through.  I am finding myself reminded that there is no formula, or list that you have to check-off each day in order to get a star for "Excellent Believer", "Great Wife", or "Good Mommy", but rather a willing happy heart, diligent effort, and grace upon grace. 

Don't Compare
Every kid is different, every mom is different, every marriage is different...don't compare.  It was so hard for me in the early months of this year not to wonder what I was doing wrong when Brayden didn't do what so and so's kid did at such and such an age.  But the Lord used this to teach me a vital lesson in Truth, your child was made to sanctify YOU, and through that to bring Him glory.  Therefore, start trusting Him, and stop comparing.  I may not be the pinterest or diy queen, make gourmet meals every night, or have time to clean like I would like every day, but my heart must be focused on the eternal, what will matter in the end?  What precious God moments might I miss when I focus on what is fleeting?  I am called to be Vanessa, the woman God made me to be, to bring Him the most glory in what He has called me to do...that is all, stop comparing.

The last 12 months have been amazing, I am so thankful, and I know the next 12 will be filled with more sanctification, joy and grace.  I am excited to continue to watch the Lord work, and pray He would continue to grow me into the woman that pleases Him!

Last Month as a "Baby"

In one month this little guy is turning one, where has the time gone?! It is amazing how much they change their first year.  We have been so blessed by this little guy's life, and are beyond thankful for the 11 months we've had with him. He brings us so much joy, and really is a constant reminder to us of the goodness of our Great God!

So what's new this month with this kiddo?! A...LOT!

He is "walking" everywhere, with our help, or with the help of his push toys or furniture. I am sure soon enough he will brave up and take a step on his own. But until then he finds ways to walk around on his own, or crawl as fast as he can to get where he wants/needs to go. He can also stand unassisted if he is distracted. He can totally do it, but gets nervous when he realizes that we aren't supporting him anymore and sits down..little stinker!

He has mastered climbing the stairs, with close supervision of course :). He is so proud of himself every time he does it. And climbing the jungle gym at the park is a favorite of his as well. He's tried climbing the slide too, as all kiddos do, but it'll be a few years before you can do that kiddo ;).

He has become even more of a chatterbox, he LOVES to talk. He has full on convos with himself, mommy and daddy, and others in his baby talk...if only we knew what he wanted to say.  He points to things and then just starts talking, it is SO adorable. He says mama or mom mom, dada, baba (bottle), ba (ball), bath, brush, bye, car, and YES (his favorite). 

Brayden has always been affectionate but even more so lately, especially towards mommy, and boy do I love it! He will just come over, for no reason, and bury his head in my shoulder or chest and give me a "hug".  I adore those precious moments.

His favorites at the moment are balls, being outside, musical instruments (SO CUTE to watch him play his drums, keyboard, and other little instruments), lights, and playing chase with daddy.

He is still an awesome eater, loving pretty much anything and everything now that he is eating most solid food! And it shows in his 90% height and weight...STILL!

11 months have come and gone SO fast. We are so thankful for each day the Lord gives us with this precious heart and are excited for what the Lord has planned for his little life!

Pregnancy, A Lesson in Faith, All Over Again

I thought being pregnant for the second time would be SO very different. Although there are differences, such as the way I feel, or how fast it is going, I still find myself struggling with similar things this time around. 

When I was pregnant with Brayden, he was constantly on my mind. Every twinge, ache, or "weird" feeling I experienced was new, and with many of those experiences came questions, fear of the unknown, and worry. I tried to follow most of the "rules" of pregnancy, like staying away from caffeine, and hot tubs, and sushi. I read all the books. I wondered if what I was feeling was "normal", I wondered if the baby was okay (especially before I could feel him during that first trimester), and I found myself searching google for "is __________ typical during pregnancy" countless times during my pregnancy. Through it all, I learned many lessons in faith and found myself humbled by the sustaining grace of the Lord and the reality of Psalm 139:13 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb." 

When I held my precious little bundle of joy that January afternoon I was in awe of our Creator and how amazing He truly is. For He had created this little life, grew it and sustained it inside of my womb-it was an absolute miracle. And at that very moment I was reminded of the fact that I had no control over this little life, it was simply a gift of His grace.  For Psalm 139 taught me that it was He who formed the life in my womb, and it is also He who has written each person's days. 

Being pregnant that first time was stretching and good-it grew me in my faith and my dependence upon our good and faithful God. And for that I was thankful. 

I assumed, wrongly, that after being pregnant, and learning those "lessons", that when baby #2 came around, I would be much more faithful.  But the opposite is true. I find myself exhibiting faithlessness often, faced with different and similar struggles. Because each pregnancy is different, so is the sanctification you receive from the Lord. He is quick to remind me through pregnancy of my ZERO control over all things and of my desperate need for His grace and growing faith. 

No matter how many times I look on google to see if what I am experiencing is normal, how many rules I follow, or how careful I am to ensure that this little one is growing properly, changes the reality that HE is the One forming this life and in control of its days, not me. I have to trust Him, for He IS good ALL the time. I have to believe that His care and love and concern for this little life inside of me, far outweighs my love for it. I have to trust my Lord.

I am thankful for pregnancy, the hard days and the blissful ones because in and through it all, I am reminded of His love, and care, and goodness for His beloved as He sanctifies me continually each step of the way.

"Training" Up A Child

I have been consumed lately, not in a bad way, with the thought of parenting.  The little baby we brought home from the hospital 10 1/2 months ago isn't quite so little anymore. His sin nature is manifesting itself, and as our pastor reminded us of recently in a sermon he preached, your child is not a son of God, and therefore they are wicked.  That is hard to grasp on a daily basis, even when you see their sinfulness.  But the reality is that it is true, and because our children are little sinners, and in need of redemption, we must view them as God does, unsaved.

In our society, even among Christian parents, there is this emphasis on raising good kids. However we can modify their behavior to get them to be good, seems to be the goal of many parents.  After all, we don't want to be those parents in the store who have the three year old wailing on the floor because he wants a box of cookies, or the parents of the kid at the restaurant who throws food at guests nearby.  We want kids who are obedient, well mannered, and basically, good.  

The problem is, having a good kid, CANNOT be the Christian parents goal.  Although there are manners that need to be taught, appropriate behaviors that must be learned, and social norms that our children will be schooled in, if we don't address the fundamental problem, the heart, we have failed to be faithful to our duty as their parents.  The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9 that "the heart is wicked above all else...". Our children's hearts are wicked, and in order for them to see their need for the Savior we so love, they must see their sin, and the wickedness of their very hearts.  

But how on earth do we go about doing this? Especially in a culture that promotes self esteem, how am I as a parent supposed to teach and train my child that their hearts are wicked, that they are innately sinful and bad and that only Christ can make them good? I have been thinking, praying and reading and have been burdened with this task. Although it is by the grace of God ALONE that my children will ever come to faith, there is still a heavy responsibility that I bear, as a mother, to train them, to point them towards Jesus, and to equip them with the tools that I pray the Lord will use to draw them to himself.

PRAY: It starts on our knees. Only in Him can we find the strength, the wisdom, and the grace to train up and disciple these little ones HE has entrusted to us. There are countless verses in Scripture we can spend time praying for our children.  Here are just a few:
Pray that Jesus will CALL them and nobody will hinder them from coming: "Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them and went away. "(Matthew 19:13–15)

Pray they will respond to the persistent call of Christ: "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." (2 Peter 3:9)

Pray they will be sanctified by the work of the Spirit: "And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39)

Pray for their purity: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (Philippians 4:8)

(Taken from: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/seven-things-to-pray-for-your-children)

DISCIPLINE: This isn't one many moms, or dads, are most excited about, but it is fundamental to training up our children.  We can't get around the Biblical principle of discipline, and I would even go further and say spanking.  Proverbs 22:15 says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;The rod of discipline will remove it far from him."

TEACH: There are teachable moments all throughout our days.  Whether it be at the park, in the kitchen, or during a dispute between siblings; the Lord calls us to make the most of every opportunity and we must be on the watch for these moments each and every day, always creatively thinking how we can incorporate Truth, and the Gospel in real life.
Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go,Even when he is old he will not depart from it."
2 Timothy 3:14-15 "But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus."

SHOW: We have to set the example, we have to be the role models.  If our children see us with repentant hearts, they see the Gospel in action, and our need for Jesus too.  If our children see our Bibles open throughout the day, their curiosity will be heightened. If our children hear our prayers, they too will learn how to talk to Jesus.  We have to lead them by example, in real every day life.  And I truly believe when they see us as we really are, still being sanctified, they will see Jesus as even more glorious.
1 Corinthians 10:32 "Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ."

These are just some of the ways I have been encouraged to grow in on this journey of parenting.  My little one may only be 10 months, but I am certain that our call to train them up starts from birth and my prayer is that I would be a vessel that the Lord uses to bring them to Him.

10 Months!

We officially have a little man in our home!  It is crazy how much has changed in the last month.  Brayden has went from crawling to crawling and pulling himself up on everything, pushing toys and walking, and taking steps with the help of mommy and daddy.  I look at him and am amazed how
 it was only 10 months ago that we brought him home from the hospital...they grow way. too. fast.

Brayden is still quite the inquisitive one.  He is an observer; whether we are outside, in a new place, or even at home, his curiosity is evident in everything he does, says, and the facial expressions he makes.  And now that he can explore on his own, it is even more fun to watch him learn.

He loves to chat, all day long.  Other than mama, dada, and hi, he started saying "ball" this month which is about the cutest thing in the world.  He LOVES balls.  He likes to play catch, does a pretty good job throwing it himself, and gets so excited when he sees one.  He definitely takes after his daddy in that area...although daddy is hoping his love for balls will become a love for the baseball ;).

When he claps sometimes he will say "yay" as if he is cheering for himself, so precious.  Getting a wave out of him now-a-days is rare, but when he decides he wants to wave goodbye he will...little stinker, they never do things when you want them to ;).

This last month was a busy one with lots of family time, outings, and his dedication at church.  It was such a blessing to be able to stand before the Lord, and our church family and commit to raising Brayden in the fear and admonition of the Lord.  We are so blessed to have a church family that loves and prays for this little boy already.

He loves other kids, especially babies, he gets so excited when he sees a little one :). And he loves dogs.  Books, jumping in his jumper, and music make the top of this kids list.

He still is a great eater (which shows in his percentiles for both height and weight, he is still in the 90th%!) and now that he is eating a lot more "normal" food, he is loving life haha.  We have let him try a lot of new things this month and I'm sure he is wondering where these flavors have been all his life. Fruit, yogurt, and cheese are some of his favorites.

His favorite place is still outside, he could stay out there all day long.  He  just figured out how to move himself on his little riding toy outside...too cute! And playing in the sand at the park seems to be a new favorite too.

We are so thankful for the last 10 months we have had the privilege of being his mommy and daddy. We are so excited to continue to watch him grow and develop, but more eager and prayerful to see the Lord work in his life to bring him to himself and use him greatly for His glory!  We love you little B!